Why adoption?

Did I grow up with dreams of adopting? Was it always in my plans? NO.

A little background to the story:
When Sam and I got married I already had Alexis. She was 7 years old. So, we figured "why wait?" on having more kids.  After our first year of marriage I wasn't pregnant yet so I decided to go to the doctor for advice and help. For the second year of our marriage I did Clomid (low dose fertility drug) and Prometrium. No such luck.  Starting into the 3rd year of trying and taking more fertility drugs plus having a laproscopy to have my endometriosis removed,  I got pregnant!!  The time frame I got pregnant was 3 months after I was baptized.  I honestly feel like it was God's welcome present to me for finally entering into His kingdom.  I grew up a "Christian" and was taught the basics which I am forever thankful for but I always held of getting baptized.  I always thought "I'm not good enough yet". What I didn't understand was that I will never be good enough. I will always fall short. But I am washed cleaned by His blood and His grace and forgiveness is more than good enough :)  So, I was pregnant after 3 years and very happy!

After Aubrie turned 2 we decided to start trying again (between deployments and R&R's of course!)  More Clomid and Prometrium. Another laproscopy. Flushing out my tubes a few times. No such luck.  My doctor then decided I should go see a specialist.  The specialist was amazing. I just KNEW if anyone could get the job done, it was him. He told me along with the endometriosis back, I also had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome).  We started treatment, which consisted of Follistim shots in my stomach and another shot (I put the name purposely out of my head!! That sucker HURT!) in my hiney...  yeah... This went on for months. Finally Sam and I started throwing around the idea of adopting but it was never talked about seriously.  Then we just said we were honestly happy with our family of 4 and felt extremely blessed.  We were ready to stop the shots and just move on.  No more talk of becoming pregnant and no more talk about adoption.

I can't explain really but adoption was always in the back of my head.  Not necessarily because it was something I deeply wanted...it was just there, almost a whisper in my ear.  That whisper got louder.  I started seeing things on TV and hearing commercials on the radio about adopting.  I blew it off.  When I was trying to get pregnant I noticed SO many pregnant women. I figured because I was thinking about adoption that my sub conscience was getting the best of me.  One day I went over a friends house to buy something from her. I knew she had adopted so I casually asked her what the process was.  She got a sparkle in her eye and she asked me to come in and talk about it.  I could tell that it was something she was passionate about which made me even more interested.  After an hour or so of telling me her story, she asked if she could put some people in touch with me that have also adopted.  Um, sure ..... ?

Literally within days I had a handful of ladies message me letting me know that they were available to get together if I ever had any questions.  I met with Brandi at Dunkin Donut a few days later and got to hear her amamzing story.  I met with Christine after that and heard hers.....and then Dawn... and Kathy, and Alexandra.  These ladies in particular had adopted or were in the process of adopting from China.  I never gave it much thought to WHERE I would adopt from.  So how in the world would I make that decision?  I pulled up a few websites for local adoption in Georgia and the website was incredibly hard to navigate.  All the children they were showing were 14-17 years old.  I emailed a few friends in different states and different countries if they knew of a reputable adoption agency in their area.  I wasn't really getting anywhere on my own. So, I started praying.  Asking God if adoption was right for us...asking Him to give me signs if it was what He wanted us to do.  I got more signs.  And I kept telling myself they were coincidences.